Monday, November 22, 2010

Post Infidelity Stress Disorder

My therapist often tells me that I exhibit the signs of someone who has post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Someone with this disorder experiences a heightened state of anxiety and anguish over a traumatic event and will envinsion themselves going through the experience over and over again. In essence, people who suffer from PTSD not only experiences the horrible event once but relives it many times. This can be in thoughts, dreams, and in some extreme cases visions.

To describe a stress response to infidelity much like PTSD, Dr. Dennis Ortman came up with a term called Post Infidelity Stress Disorder or PISD. The symptoms are very much like what I am experiencing:

Certainly, discovering a partner’s adultery causes enormous stress for any individual. However, some are traumatized, feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope, often for years. Their reaction is similar to those who have had life-threatening experiences, such as war, natural disasters, violent crimes, physical and sexual abuse, and automobile accidents. These individuals manifest a predictable pattern of symptoms marked by alternating periods of emotional numbing and reliving the horror of the trauma (van der Kolk, McFarlane, & Weisaeth, 1996). Many victims of infidelity experience their psychic life threatened, and become preoccupied with the betrayal and filled with rage. I call their reaction “post-infidelity stress disorder,” with the acronym PISD, which expresses the rage that is a primary symptom of the disorder. Exerpt from: Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services abstract.

There's always something comforting about finding out what is really going on inside of you. It helps you feel less crazy and know that many other people must be feeling the same way if they have a name for what you are experiencing. Is there anyone else out there that fit this description?

By the way, there's a book by Dr. Ortman that further explains his theory for PISD. It's called Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder.

13 comments:

  1. I just discovered your blog and am finding it reinforcing. I, too, am going through the PISD symptoms. Since discovery 12/27/10 I am amazed at the cycles of despair and rage. Though the time between cycles is lengthening, each time it's as if everything if fresh and it's physically and mentally shocking. My husband's slut was 25 (he was 70 at the time) so you can imagine the damage this has caused.

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  2. Yes, fresh is definitely the right for it. As if you are going through it all over again. It's so devastating.

    I'm so sorry to hear about this situation for you...I hope that you can find some comfort from my words...

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  3. I as a child caught my father cheating multiple times with my own eyes and ears from age 5 to age 21. Even though I'm not a spouse of someone who cheated I am the daughter of the father who cheated her entire life. I am now 22 and seem to cant have a normal relationship and I too experience P.I.S.D

    ReplyDelete
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  5. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago.He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator  who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and  proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer.I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof to my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.

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  6. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating wife, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator  Mr James . I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my wifes iphone.He hacked her Gmail and Facebook account and linked all her WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you Mr James for helping me get evidence against her,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him (Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) via email. 

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  7. I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via email(worldcyberhackers@gmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  8. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago. He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator  who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and  proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer. I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof for my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.


    ReplyDelete
  9. My girlfriend has been cheating on me for months and I had no idea, I searched online to get help spying her phone. I finally found a recommendation about a reliable PI to help and I strongly recommend worldcyberhackers@gmail.com Mr James to anyone who needs help spying their partner. I was able to access her phone contents remotely and It literally worked without traces. Don't hesitate to message him if you need help, tell him i referred you.


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  10. Hello Everyone ,I have been living with my wife for some years now,she has been keeping late nights and also receiving calls late at night,i was afraid she has been cheating on me and a friend of mine introduced me to a private investigator Worldcyberhackers@ gmail. com who helped me on spying on her.He gave me the password to her Facebook and Gmail account and also linked all her phone conversations to me.He saved me from all her lies and infidelity,he gave me all i wanted during our divorce and helped me with evidence in court. Contact : Worldcyberhackers@ gmail. com through email or WhatsApp :+12678773020

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  11. Hello Everyone ,I have been living with my wife for some years now,she has been keeping late nights and also receiving calls late at night,i was afraid she has been cheating on me and a friend of mine introduced me to a private investigator Worldcyberhackers@ gmail. com who helped me on spying on her.He gave me the password to her Facebook and Gmail account and also linked all her phone conversations to me.He saved me from all her lies and infidelity,he gave me all i wanted during our divorce and helped me with evidence in court. Contact : Worldcyberhackers@ gmail. com through email or WhatsApp :+12678773020

    ReplyDelete

  12. Cheating is probably one of the worst things you can do when you’re in a committed relationship. And sometimes when you wanna go back to only just being with your partner and no one else, it can be kind of hard. Your relationship isn’t the same after cheating. You may have a new mindset of what you’re wanting in a relationship or you may be feeling guilty over your cheating. Either way, the relationship is corrupted and you’re left alone figuring out what to do about a situation that is supposed to involve two people,my ex cheated and the guilt lived with him after i confronted him with enough proof of his cheating games with other women,i got help from a hacker who hacked his phone and gave me remote access to his phone activities without touching the phone.if your partners commitment is in doubt,you can contact this cyber genius=hackingloop6 @ g m a i l . c o m,or text +1(7 1 2)2 9 2 6 5 5,he is a legit software hacker.Tell him i referred you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I found out my man was having an affair with a coworker from Solon Casey Grover. I came across thousands of sexting and flirt text.The worst part is during this whole time he said they are just friends,i never bothered much cus i trusted him.he became so deep to the affair that i had to sit-up and know what was going on in my marriage that my man now act in strange manners and entertained unusual phone calls and mostly comes home late from work..But all thanks to 'hackspeed24@ gmail . c o m' for their investigative and hacking service that helped me gain access to all my husband's phone activities remotely,though the saga was so painful,but i feel much better facing my fears. We’re still together and his sense of shame and remorse is enormous and I do realize how deeply he regrets what he did,as well as all his secrete transactions with our joint account.Cheating don't worth giving a chance.

    ReplyDelete

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